Kitty Kitty Bang Bang AKA Knitty Knitty Bang Bang.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Adapt and Survive.

I've been deeply conflicted about my apocalypse survival skills.

My apocalypse plan has been to get the pets/supplies/valuables into a vehicle and make my way north to Nikol & Ron's in Kansas. I shared this with them and they immediately had some questions about what skills I would bring to the table and I realized that in the event of the end of the world, the fact that I've known them for a zillion years doesn't necessarily guarantee entrance. Being funny, charming or old friends won't be enough.

What skills do I have? Not many. Other than turning string into clothes - which Nikol can also do, as can most of my other friends. I can't fix cars or generators. I can't shoot a gun. I can't hunt or skin an animal. I can't tie knots or make fire.

I'm also slightly lazy and I get overwhelmed easily.

In 2008, I had this great idea where I would spend all of 2009 learning the skills that I needed in order to be better prepared for the coming apocalypse/zombie apocalypse/failure of technology. The plan was to document it all - with blog entries and videos - on a URL that Nathan bought for me apocalypseresume.com. Maybe write a book about my experience.

A short list of goals:

Small engine repair
Close in hand to hand combat
Basic first aid
Hunting/Fishing
Weapons
Basic farming/gardening
Midwifery
Basic animal husbandry
Make fire
Navigate with a map and compass
Basic sewing/mending

Instead I was waylaid by the breakup before Christmas and I never got back on track. In fact, everything has felt totally off track since the end of 2008. My survival skills are totally unchanged. I still can't deliver a baby calf or plant a garden. I can't defend myself - beyond my poor roller derby blocking skills - and I still haven't touched a gun, ever....

Time is running short.